Christmas , the most wonderful time of the year

Now I know why they say ''Christmas , the most wonderful time of the year.
It started Tuesday  evening  they told me it was Christmas eve.
An evening for family's to be together.
They had all kinds of  yummies
and there was even a bottle catnip wine
                               ☺
Even the Humans played games
and I wasn't allowed to play with them!
As if I even wanted that ,
it was a very stupid game.....they didn't even use dice!
All they had were little cards on the table.

They played music and sang songs like:
           Silent Night,Holy Night
It's a Nice song but I prefer the
        30 Seconds to Mars Christmas song
They do all this because in this night, 2013 years ago
Jesus , the son of God was born.
This is so difficult to understand
2 days ago Mrs.Nice told me the Joseph & Marie story 
and now the boys father is God!!!!!!
I decided not to think about it
and went to my Himalaya for a
                                       Nice triple A sleep.

I slept for hours and hours
I just didn't want to wake up.
I had such Nice dreams
I dreamt of a white Christmas, Christmas tree's
Nice food and about Santa bringing us lots of presents
and then I had to wake up [I had to visit my private place]
                                  And I just couldn't believe my eyes

                                                         Santa had visited us
                                                      And I didn't even wake up!
                he brought us so much present, and there was even a Christmas tree
                                                               LOOK

 

               This is what I call a CHRISTMAS TREE

 And presents .....do you see those presents.........

              SO MANY

                           Wow unbelievable

                 I had a lot of Nice gifts, like this one

                                 But you know what I liked the most?

                                                  The GIFT RAPS

 ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

 I played with it for hours and the I discovered something special
Did you know you can sleep very well under a gift rap paper

                                        Goodnight Everybody
                                                     See you all in the New Year
                                                                ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
              

Christmas

It is almost Christmas and we still don't have a                                   
                       Christmas tree!
I asked Mrs.Nice several times when do we get a
                       Christmas tree
don't you understand I want to play with the ornaments, the lights
                                    and of course
               I want to climb the  Christmas tree ☺
She told me we won't have a Christmas tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!
              Not this year,
              Not last year
                    and
       Not in the coming years
               !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could not believe my ears.........
I know she is a bit................
                 dumb, stupid.......................
I have no words for this.
I know she fell off the wagon more then once
                      but This....................
                                          UNBELIEVABLE

                                                  I could not believe my ears
I did everything to convince her we NEED a Christmas tree
                                    I cried
                                      I screamed
                                        I scratched
                                         I even bit her !
                  Then she had enough off my moaning
She said;'' come sit with me DEXTER
I am going to tell you
what Christmas is all about''.

                                                                       So I did

                                  Once upon a time..........
in a country far far away there lived a carpenter named Joseph
and he and his girlfriend Marie,
who was very,very pregnant
had to go to Bethlehem.
So they travelled by foot and Marie could sit on their donkey.
One night they could not find a place to sleep, so they had to sleep in a barn
together with the donkey and an ox ''
                                      WHAT, wait a minute
You are telling me  a guy with his pregnant sweetheart
go travelling by foot and they made no hotel reservations
         ????????????????????????????
That is really something STUPID
         even for   HUMANS
         Why didn't they take the car
            or even better the R.V.?
                                     I was soooooooooooo confused
                                           it made me loose my head

                                 she said
                  ''you have to hear the rest of the story''
                   I don't know the rest of the story because.............
                                       I fell asleep

                 and woke up just when she said;
      ''Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ
            and that is why Christmas has Nothing to do with
                    Christmas tree's or Christmas presents''
                                      No Christmas tree
                                           No present
                                WHAT TO DO NOW?
I was desperate
So I went to Mr. Nice
He is a really a Nice guy
 and if anyone could help me
it would be him ☺
And....................it worked; he said
''don't you worry DEXTER.
I make sure you get your Christmas tree"
                                     And you know what?
                                            He did!
The next day he came home with a big box
filled with all kinds off Nice stuff
and I thought
              ''Let the games begin''
                          He started to unpack the stuff
                                                and
                              The disappointment began
                                 It started quiet well
              He had a box filled with all kinds of Nice Christmas stuff

                  But then I saw what he called a Christmas tree.....................

                                        This can NOT be true
                                 This is not a Christmas tree
                                 This is not even a branch!
                                How can I climb that thing?
                                            again,
                         a perfect example of human stupidity
But, as always I made best of it 
I explored the box
                            and found a Nice STAR to play with

                        After I demolished the star I asked Mr.Nice;
                  Why no presents, what about the birthday of Jesus?  
                       We can celebrate that with presents for us.
                                           ☺  ☺ ☺  ☺ ☺
                                  He said:'Well DEXTER                               You have been a real Nice a Cat
                        at least for as long as you live with us 
                                so you can ask Santa Clause
                               you never know what happens''
                     And then I remembered Humans call this      

          THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

                                                                      so

              
                                                         ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥
                     




















   








                                         

The After Party

Having a Birthday is so Nice
but it is also a very busy day
I hadn't slept for a minute because I didn't want to miss a second.
Anyway, I slept all day yesterday
but I am still very tired so I told Mrs.Nice I needed some time off.
And just on that moment I got an invitation from
Cindy Richards;'' Dexter, do you want to come to my suite at the lodge
for a jacuzzi in front of the fireplace
and some snacks and champagne?''
Wow, how could I ever say No to such a Nice invitation?
 So I had to ask Mrs.Nice if she could buy me a ticket to 
                                                  The Cat Island Lodge.

Yeah, Mrs. Nice usually understands me very well when I tell her something
                                  ☺ ☺ ☺  ☺  ☺
                                   The Cat Island Lodge
                    is a great place where I can meet all my Cat friends
                                           I usually stay in this Nice house

                               But this time I will stay with Cindy  
and I heard she invited   Vancat Onlion , Amethyst Di Angelo and Diane Helen Lo Nigro
and some other good friends 
So this feels like

                                                 Coming Home

              I know for sure they spoil me like crazy

                                                ☺ ☺ ☺  ☺  ☺

Mrs. Nice told me to go pack my bags and hurry up 
because my plane leaves in an hour
And just when we left the house the mailman stopped at our house and said
                                       "DEXTER hoe Nice to see you,
                                          I have a big surprise for you"
                                               And a surprise it was
                                                       LOOK

              So if you need me I will lying next to the pool or in the jacuzzi
                                                  with a cocktail and a 
                                                      GOOD BOOK 
                                                          ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Happy Birthday DEXTER [part two]

 I had a real Nice Birthday
Mr.&Mrs.Nice had a bit trouble waking up so early
but they understood why I couldn't wait any longer.
This was my very first Birthday
so I had no idea what to expect but everyone
I asked about birthdays said it would be great
          ☺ ☺☺ ☺☺
It started with a super breakfast
Mrs. Nice asked if I wanted
 Tuna, Chicken or Beef
Stupid question........

                                                             Tuna of course
After that she said I had to get dressed
                   Duhhhhhhhh
                                    get dressed?
                                                          WHY?
I have my beautiful ginger fur
That's dressed up enough.
''No DEXTER, she said', ''you have to wear a
Party hat and a Nice bow
So everyone can see who the birthday boy is''.
                    I told you more then once
                  she is a bit bonkers in her head
everybody who comes to my party knows
                            I am the Birthday boy
                       And they all know who I am.
              But she insists I have to wear that hat and bow

 

                                        I don't know what you think of this
                                                but I didn't like it at all.
So I took it off faster then she could put it on me.
             ☺   ☺  ☺  ☺  ☺
Melanie was the first who came to bring me my present
                                              a Nice blue ball ☺

                                     We played until it was teatime
there was cake and lots of Nice noms
                                    And she had something else
                                                      She called it balloons,
                                          but to me it looked like a big red ball.
                        She trew it on my Himalaya
                                                and I jumped up to catch it

 

                                               and just when I cought it

                   there was a loud noise...............

                                    and the red ball was gone

                                           ????????????????

                               all there was left was a little red piece!

I still don't know what happend,

but they all were

                               laughing out loud!

I looked everywhere but there was nothing left

                              It's a kind of magic

The rest of the day was filled with visitors

who all cuddled with me and had presents and mjammys for me 

                                                   ☺ LOOK ☺

                  I had never ever not even in my wildest dreams 

                                  could have imagined

                                  a Birthday would be so

                                            awesome

                                            ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Happy Birthday DEXTER

Today is my BIRTHDAY
I have been waiting for months and now finally
        IT IS MY BIRTHDAY
So because I waited this long
I want to last it for as long as possible.
That's why I asked my friends on F.B. if they had some good advice
The first advice was to set the alarm

but that didn't work because I can't change the time on that.
It is broken for years, that is the reason they get up at 7 each morning
But then I thought about our stereo set, that can produce a lot of noise

So I started my todays favourite Beatles song
                  "Happy Birthday"
[http://youtu.be/qiqfn-pvUm8]
And that worked really well:
Mr. Nice came running out of the bedroom screaming
                         ''DEXTER"
                WHAT are you doing
       You are waking up the neighbours.
Well, that's a good idea,
they can be the first to bring me my presents
                         ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
Despite of this great Beatles song Mr. Nice didn't understand my hint
So he said; Go back to sleep DEXTER
It's only 2 PM
and went back to bed.
He didn't even say "Happy Birthday DEXTER"
I went to my favourite ''thinking place''

After about an hour I thought it would be a good idea to try the second advice
   Meoooooooouwing Out Loud
So I sat on my favourite place in the livingroom and started
 MMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUW
And guess what; it worked
Mrs. Nice came running
                   DEXTER,DEXTER
                what is wrong Sweetheart ?
And then she saw me sitting and she said with her Nice soft voice;
"hey you little birthday boy, it is much to early
you have to go to sleep for a few hours
you don't want to sleep when everybody comes around to congratulate you?"
She had a point with that
so she went back to bed and I went to my Himalaya

           and I could not sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever heard of a Cat that can not sleep???????????
And then I got a great idea;
They have a waterbed....and I have very very very sharp claws
                 DO I NEED TO SAY MORE?
so I went very quietly into the bedroom
and  crawled towards the bed, and just when I started she said;
               "That's enough DEXTER''
We'll get up now, give us a little time to get dressed,
you can start up the computer to see if your friends are on line this early.
So I did and you will never ever believe what a surprise I got :

               Even Google knows it my Birthday and when Google knows the
                                     WHOLE WIDE WEB WORLD                                                                                                                                 knows it is my
                                                             BIRTHDAY 
                                                   ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥











     

The Day I didn't have to go to JAIL

This day started very,very Nice,
Mrs.Nice gave me a yammie breakfast and  I played a long time
with my favourite blue marble.
I'm sure there is no better blue marble
in the whole wide world than mine
      ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
After a while I got tired and climbed my Himalaya
for a Nice long ''triple A'' nap.
For the ones who are new at this blog ''triple A'' means

                                                           Any time, Any where, Any place

And then the unthinkable happened:
                                     Mrs. Nice WOKE me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now you see for yourselves how stupid she is
everybody knows
                NEVER EVER WAKE A SLEEPING CAT
At least never ever wake this sleeping DEXTER.
Anyway, she woke me and said with her Nice soft voice
             "Hey sweet little DEXTER"
Duh, you wake me up to tell me I am sweet
We all know that for a long time.
She tells me she has to go in town for some shopping
Now I'm really wide awake;
Don't tell me you want me to come...........
                         I hate shopping

"No, no DEXTER, you can stay at home
but because you're start to become a big Cat, you'll be 1 year within a week
I decided you don't have to go in jail while I am away.
I trust you to stay on your Himalaya and sleep until I come home"
Again the stupidity of humans..........................
                        they wake a Cat to tell him he has to sleep 
                                                 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When she left I stayed a while on my Himalaya thinking what to do.
Cats can sleep  Anytime, Anywhere, Any place
but NOT when a Human tells them to sleep!
So what to do now.............
                                    Not the toilet paper             I did this yesterday

                                               
                                                  I could trash the plants

That's not the best idea I've ever had, because when I do this too often
there won't be enough plants left to hide behind in case of a thunderstorm.
                                                 But then I knew what to do:

                                             I know, I know, it is a lot of work
                                   but if you see this I think you can say

                                              it was worth the effort
                                                ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺
I had just gone  back to sleep  when Mrs. Nice came home
she saw me sleeping in the chair and

                                            She woke me up AGAIN
and she said with her Nice soft voice;
                 "oh sweet DEXTER, I knew you would behave like a big Cat"
But then she walked into the other room and she screamed
                                    DEXTER, what did you DO
                                                 ????????

                                             Again...........a stupid question
                                                    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

My Favorite Toy

As I told you before in the post '' Games Cats Play''
I love to play,
I can play all day.
And when I don't play
 I eat or sleep.
But when I sleep I dream about
             PLAYING
or eating but that's not what we are talking about right now.
My favourite toy of this moment is this:

                                  And now you think;
                            what is this, I don't see a toy''
Don't worry there is nothing wrong with your eyes.
My favourite toy is a
               DOOR
Just a common door like the one you all have in your houses.
It always starts with me calling  Mrs.Nice
I meaouw very soft and then run to my door.
If she doesn't come fast enough
I'll go back to her

 

                              

                              meaouw again, and run to my door.
                                    And sit behind the door
                                 That usually does the trick
                                          ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

You see those pieces of paper on the floor?
That is what it's all about;
Mrs Nice slides a piece of paper under the door
she moves it back and forth
                                      and I try to catch it.

                                      Don't laugh.. it's not easy! 
Mr. Nice doesn't like us playing this game, he is always grumbling
about the scratches my beautiful strong nails make.
                Again the ignorance of Humans
              Of course my nails scratch the door;
                They were made for it!  
                        ☺ ☺ ☺
But every now and then Mr. Nice says to me 
''DEXTER come play with the door"
When he does that he always has a blue envelope
and he is not satisfied until that blue envelope looks like this;

                                             and then he says 
                 '' this is what everybody should do with his tax assessment ''
                                                    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
 

HALLOWEEN

''Today is Halloween'' said Mrs.Nice
Okay, that sounds Nice,
at least the ''Hallo'' does,
I don't know about the ''ween'' part
''No DEXTER''
she said ''halloween'' is one word
and it is a special day on which people dress otherwise the usually.
They try to look as scary as possible.
                           ?????????????????????????
I know, I know
I am just a little Cat, but that's is really something typical stupid for humans;
people dress up to look as scary as possible and then they say
                                     ''Hallo''
What is the fun in that?
I am pretty sure there is no Cat in the world who would do that.
A Cat is SO much more smarter then humans are
                 Anyway Mrs.Nice tried to explain what Halloween is all about

making the fall a bit more colourful; they put Jack o'Lanterns

 and other orange pumpkins everywhere

and use witches,ghosts, bats and black Cats to scare each other.
I know,I know, i have said it more then once;
                                    HUMANS
are Bonky Wonky or something like that
all the stupid things they make up.......................
but who cares as long they have fun and don't hurt any Cats
And then she tells me ''Halloween is about treats..............
                                TREATS
Wow I love treats ☺
Like this cake Poppy Woo Woo's momma won in a raffle

 Or these absolutely fantastic looking noms

If they taste as good as they look....................
Well I think my tummy will ache in the morning.
or these beauty's

Did you know there is a Halloween town,
you can see it in a movie called
''the day before Christmas''
Mr. Nice promised me we are going to watch that Movie on Christmas eve
and eat a cake like the one Kirsten Fairweather baked for Gary Litters Halloween party tonight

 So I have to wait a while, but I'm getting used to waiting because I am still waiting on Amazon to bring me Vancat Onlion's book.
Anyway, I have to say goodbye for now
I have to get dressed for the party tonight but first I'll have a short nap on my pumpkin

                                O, I just heard the beer  already arived ☺

                See you all tonight at Gary Litters Halloween party in Bristol
                                     ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Searchin for..................Something

Okay I had my real long and very Nice nap but
I STILL DON'T  KNOW  WHAT  HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But I knew for sure SOMETHING is missing.
And when something is missing Mrs.Nice always says;
                                    ''Search and you will find''.
That is probably very old and very wise
so at least I have to give it a try
So I searched here

                                                         

Nothing but Bills, bills bills and even one bill who said ''with kind regards''.......................

 I am pretty sure they rather had it said '' Please don't pay me''

                                              I searched here

But here were only seeds in it, because Mr.Nice wants to  grow a acacia.
He is not very good at it though,
the first he planted became a victim of the lawnmower
the second he planted became a victim of the rabbits
the third one he planted just disappeared.
But Perseverance pays off........or so they say.
So I looked in the washing machine

No, nothing here,
not even Justin's laundry

I looked in the chimney

 Nothing. where to look now???????????
Maybe in one of my boxes

               No,no,no,no,no,no I am really getting desperate.
possibly  in this bag
I often find exiting things in shoppingbags

 There is lots of stuff in it where I could have some fun with,
but not what I'm looking for.............................I think
Because I still didn't know WHAT the f**k I was looking for.
I became so desperate  I even looked in the toilet!!!!!

How desperate can a Cat be ???
Then I thought, maybe it's right in front of me not in or under something but ON something

So I took a look ON the sideboard

I found a pair of glasses where I played with for quite a while until I remembered
                                         I still had some searching to do.
So I looked on the table because Mr.&Mrs.Nice often leave there interesting items.

 

Again nothing there and then I thought of something.............
it was a rather disturbing thought.

I suddenly remembered some time ago Rocco went to our Nice vet Lisbeth and.....................

and fell asleep, just like me.

When he came home he wore a human boxer short, and said;

 ''I have no idea what happened, but I have a feeling like I am  missing something''

                                      see how ridiculous a dog looks in a human boxer short.
                                             HA ha ha ha ha ha......... ah oh no no no NO
                             They wouldn't do that, they didn't do that to me.............would they
                                                             ?????????????????????

                                                  YES, they would do that to me
                                                     YES they could that to me
                                                          YES they DID